Overheard In The Team India Locker Room..(CRICKET OBVIOUSLY!!)

It's just another quite day in Kolkata....birds tittering sweetly on the trees, frogs croaking sombrely by the many lakes......and the usual pushing and shoving and rioting outside Eden Gardens. Usual, that is to say, on a day like this, when cricket was going to be played . It is true, a huge crowd would gather anywhere, so long as the Indian Team,or any given number of its members, was present...even if they were present to have a quite drink and chat with friends.....or even rush to tho loo..it really didn't matter....the players expected it-they would be dissapointed if their peace wasn't interrupted, even in the loo.....no one can really answer natures call properly if they knew that a mob should have been waiting outside and wasn't.....it wasn't natural. The players were presently in the only place where they could eat and strap on their groin cups in peace-their dressing room-just before a very important match....

Greg Chappel: Now, I know our previous performances in finals haven't been.......all that good.....but I'm pretty confident that we SHOULD be able to win this one....the opposition isn't all that good, and really, I think that today could be the day you guys get back in form....best of luck guys...I know you can do it...

India win the toss and decide to bat-Virendra Sehwag is padding up with Saurav Ganguly before heading out to open the innings.

Viru(muttering to himself): Come on Viru....you can do it today....so WHAT if you havent scored for the past couple hundred ODI's...today can be your day, you can .....oh crap..this really isn't wotkin....I'm going to have to fire that Arindam chap....really, he does seem to find a way to motivate me so much when I tell him he isn't working...but it's gone too far....I think I need to try something new....
(hu-uh)
Strains as he puts on underwear that might is more appropriately sized for a forest pixie.
It wasn't THIS tight yesterday.....gosh, I think I need to wipe the dust of that treadmill....
He walks of to get warmed up, fully padded up.
Saurav Da is also padding up, while humming a strange tune to himself.....it sounds a lot like "Ekla Cholo Re" but he seems to have added his own lyrics.
Dada:Thats funny.....I'm pretty sure I left them here.......oh well, I guess I'll just use these....
Finishes padding up and proceeds to the field to start the match.

The match is off to a flying start....Sehwag seems eager to hit a six or a four off every ball, and Saurav Da seems to have regained lost form...

Harsha Bogle(commentating): Wow! the Indians have got off to a spectacular start...both the openers seem to be really eager to make as many runs in as little time.
Navjot Singh Sidhu(also commentating): Yes Harsha, they both seem to have ants in their pants....it really is true, when when Sehwag starts to smash, the ladies' boxers come down crash!
Harsha:Yes...yes....I'm pretty sure that thats true, whatever it means.........

Fast forward to the last ball of the last over......India seem to have struck brilliant form, with both openers still at the crease, and the score approachin 400.....Sehwag is on 194, and Ganguly on 35. Surprisingly, 167 extras have been bowled, mostly in the form of balls that Ganguly more or less kicked to the boundary.

Sehwag is facing the last ball......up in the dressing room, Rahul Dravid is sulking about not being able to face a ball...suddenly, he hears a phone ring...he looks around and finds Sehwags Reliance cell phone is ringing. He answers the call.

The bowler is charging down the pitch at Sehwag to deliver the final ball.....Sehwag needs to score a six to get his team to 400, and himself to 200-creating history in both cases.

Suddenly he catches a glimpse of Rahul frantically waving his cell phone in the air. He puts up his hand to stop the bowler, and beckons to Rahul. Rahul runs up urgently and hands Sehwag his phone...
Rahul: It's......
Sehwg puts the phone to his ear, already knowing....
Sehwag: Ma.......
Sehwag ki Ma: Betaa.....kar.....duni....mitti....ein
Sehwag: Kyaa?
Sehwag ki Ma: Kar..lo.....mitti....
Sehwag: Sunayi nahi deta ma......match ke baad Airtel mein phone kar...

Sehwag hangs up the phone and returns to his crease, scores the six and is the hero of the day as they beat the opposition by roughly 300 runs......

Sehwag and Ganguly never bought underwear that fit again.
Neither had any children thereafter, and had much publicised divorces....
Can't have your cake and eat it too.......